At first it was going to be a story about the ulitmate high, but as I continued to sit and think about the things that go on in my life I recognize that the ulitmate high that I have is the power of PRAYER. Its sad because I go through so much hardship that most of the time, I have bring myself to ask someone else to pray for me. This is the bad part about my spirtiual life. I feel connected but not connected enough. Its bad because I know that I need to be deeper in the word and more intuned my spritual mind.
As a history major, I have come to recognized that one of the biggest things with religion is FAITH. Call it common sense, but some people really dont know. Its sad because you have people walking around screaming "the bible says this, the bible says that" but honestly they question it. Its that bad? Is that a legit question?
Every Sunday, I sit and debate with myself if I should go to church or not. Because, even though the common saying goes, " Only God can judge me" but its kind of weird because I am getting judged before my judgement time. I find myself crying into the first couple of sentences of the prayer when I am in church. Its hard because I would much rather not show my pain because when I do, I feel like everyone around me knows that I have done something to the point where I feel like I am not worthy enough to be in the house of God.
Oh well, I guess every person's journey is different..
That's deep. I guess the saying should actually say, "Only God's judgment matters." I think people will judge us no matter what we do or how we act, so realizing that only one opinion is what counts will set you free. All of a sudden the side-eyes, up-and-down looks, whispers, etc. will seem insignificant in the big scheme of things. You'll be able to walk down any church aisle, cry your eyes out and leave feeling like you've never been more blessed. Now THAT has got to be the ultimate high ;)
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